Investing time, tithing, etc. for years in a cult culture after swallowing fraud, I see how 'emotional intelligence' can be blunted or jeopardized. Asserting oneself after doing ones own thinking or forbidden research in historic newspapers and books will give one the boot-w/ Disfellowshipment or Excommunication. It was with pride in self-scrutiny that I researched and wrote a college paper on 'The Unique Expression of Racism in Utah'. In Graduate School, I merely wrote about Racism Within Religion. John Lennon said basically those that speak the truth may not have many friends, but those that are left, are the right ones.
Out of curiosity, I recently went to watch a man who runs 'the Gemstone Ministries' speak, and realized I was listening to a man like Joseph Smith. He just wasn't as talented. Why would Christ or God need magic, or claims of it, like the Golden Plates, the 'First Vision', the Urim & Thummim (sp), that disappear? As for 'witnesses', the Pastor was in on this fraud w/ the Gemstones guy, and people who had an appetite for magical 'wonders', spoke about the Gemstones they found (where the roving man in socks had just been) and the 'diamond countenance' on people. Too bad Joseph Smith couldn't have used this visual aid, as fine glitter hidden in hats like Epimenandes can suddenly douse a willing participant. The Pastor even had a box w/ his dead wife's ring, waiting for God to come and take it to his wife, since after all, He could send gemstones here. I think we just have to have humor.
April 7, 2014:
For me, it was 9 siblings, their partners, my mother and her husband. The stain of disappointment in humanity, when your own tribe betrays you for their convenience is one that won't bleach out. In ancient societies, the 'shunned' were not expected to live. Grief and stress does cut the longevity. Scapegoating was a ritual.
Actually, I saw where the sibling bond was stronger than parent/child. Instead of dealing w/ who sexually abused them, my kids just focused the anger on me. That has caused its own dilemmas, as in setting limits, patterns of unequal expectations, knowing Mom is there unconditionally when you really need her, but not being there for her, etc. Still wanting to act out the patterns of childhood, where their Mormon father ate into the one person's credibility they had left to trust, for his own selfish reasons--casting the only one loyal to them and the truth as the 'bad guy', has left them alone. Not one has done any personal work. I get cut out of every grandchild and family outing. Stonewalling. Several who used alcohol and drugs to cope, blamed Mom along the way. After a while, damage from a culture of blaming and lying is irreparable. Too bad my youngest son went into regular law instead of specializing in mediation and problem solving. After reaching out ad nauseum, my role is now to take care of myself and find meaning. A secret in life is service, but the heart can carry wounds that may never heal, and it makes the journey difficult. Time with loved ones can never be made up. Ages of grandchildren, etc. Raised without the wisdom and guidance of Gramma, extends the damage. Those 'kids' who refuse to do their own work will see anyone willing to honestly deal with it, as a threat. If your mate punishes you, expect your kids may do the same. You can divorce the mate, but the modeling residue can be a lifelong challenge. What was he hiding, projecting his own self-hatred? Exhibitionism while serving twice in the Mormon Bishopric. It's best to feel compassion as we are all wounded, but full discovery of further deviance has not yet surfaced, though it's well documented. Who knows if entire lives will be wasted and impacted forever, and death will come before the truth. Perhaps the lesson lies between the human impulse of a mother whose children were violated, man's search for meaning, forgiveness and moving on.
