What Obama's Leadership Has Cost Us...In One Area, Only.

Massive Poisoning with Outlawed Herbicides as Superweeds take over Farmer's Fields, and New GMO's Approved under Obama's 'Watch', and How it's Been Done.

How 'Engineering Nature' for Greed and Profit May Lead to the Demise of Many Via Starvation as Crop Yields Fall and Fail, and Fields are Poisoned.

I thought the following article by Jon Rappaport was worth sharing, as it involves us all. Politics, religion and our personal lives are so often subjects shunned as 'inappropriate', and so we stay in the dark and try to live in insular worlds. It is time for our courage and leadership to come forth, and solutions to be brought to the table. Only by recognizing or acknowledging a problem, is there hope to address and solve it, for the good of all.

Remember this?
The Alcoholic Rules are:
1. Don't talk about the problem. (The elephant in the room...)
2. Don't have or express feelings. (Deny reality and lose reality.)
3. Don't trust. (How can we, if we don't look at the truth, or express it? We can't even trust ourselves, when we create our own darkness.)

Do we know who to trust, if we turn in apathy to our own lives, and forget that we are part of this world, and our actions or lack of them affect the whole?

When we elect leaders of our country, overlooking their track record, their lack of a track record, their lack of transparency, their history and colleagues and ideologies, hoping they will 'represent' us, or voting for the least disturbing candidate, there is trouble coming. No amount of confetti, or 'leave it to someone else' will save us.

We create and leave the future for our children...The children of the world... All of which are precious. Overlooking the realities of our world and doing nothing is a special form of narcissism.

Kahlil Gibran said that a leaf of the tree turns not yellow except for the knowledge of the whole tree. And, those who stumble do so because the ones that came before, did not remove the stumbling blocks and stones.

Food and safety are basic or common interests, and so I hope you read this article, and contact your legislators or write your local paper, and see the wisdom of storing seeds, especially heirloom seeds, and planting your own non-poisoned gardens, etc.

Remember, we eat to nourish our bodies, and stay healthy and energetic. After this article, I will attach a Study that shows the difference in nutrients of Organic and Inorganic Vegetables. Please feel free to share it with your family, friends and neighbors.

*******

US farmers flood fields with dangerous poison to fight Monsanto superweeds

by Jon Rappoport

February 25, 2013

www.nomorefakenews.com

You're a farmer. Season after season, you watch your fields being taken over by Monsanto superweeds, which are resistant to the herbicide Roundup.

What are you going to do? You're locked in. You're buying your GMO seeds from Monsanto, and the food crops that grow from those seeds are supposed to be resistant to Monsanto's Roundup, so that's what you spray on your crops.

But the weeds aren't resistant. They spread and they grow taller. They're taking over.

So you, along with many, many other US farmers, go to a strategy called "burndown," which is just as bad as it sounds. You use something a lot stronger than Roundup to kill those weeds: Paraquat, for example, which has been banned in 32 countries.

You drench your fields with it in the fall. You kill anything growing. And you drench the fields again in the spring, before you plant. Then, just as you're going to plant, you hit the fields a third time with the poison.

This is in addition to all the sprayings with Roundup, which is toxic, too.

Then you harvest the crops and you sell them. And consumers eat the food along with all the poison.

Tom Philpot, writing in Mother Jones (Feb.6), reports the alarming stats on the superweed takeover of US farmland. As of 2012, almost 50% of US farms had superweeds. In 2011, it was 34%. In Georgia, it's now 92%.

The total acreage of US farmland with resistant superweeds jumped by 51% in 2012. In 2011, it was a 25% increase. That upward- percentage escalation is called a nightmare.

Well, so farmers are poisoning the hell out of their food and their fields. But with Monsanto's super-duper GMO technology, the crop yields are still much bigger than they would be without the GMO seeds, right?

The Institute for Responsible Technology cites and quotes three reports on that score.

An International Assessment of Agricultural Knowledge, Science, and Technology for Development study, signed on to by 58 governments and 400 scientists, states that GMO crop production is "highly variable," and in some cases it has "declined."

The Union of Concerned Scientists' 2009 report, "Failure to Yield," emphatically stated: "Commercial GE [genetically engineered] crops have made no inroads so far into raising the intrinsic or potential yields of any crop."

A US Dept. of Agriculture report: "GE crops available for commercial use do not increase the yield potential. In fact, yield may even decrease..."

Let's summarize. Using Monsanto GMO technology to grow food crops results in massive poisoning of the farm land and the food. And increased crops yields are a fiction.

Nothing to see here, move along. Don't worry, be happy. Stand back, technology at work. Progress is our most important product. Better living through chemistry. Ignorance is strength.

What would a president and his administration do to make sure the truth is overrun and squashed?

In addition to silencing the media, they would appoint a host of GMO insiders to key government posts, and they would bring to market as many new GMO crops as possible, to construct a fait accompli.

So let's go to the scorecard and review the actions of Obama in his first term.

The new president filled key posts with Monsanto people, in federal agencies that wield tremendous force in food issues, the USDA and the FDA:

At the USDA, as the director of the National Institute of Food and Agriculture, Roger Beachy, former director of the Monsanto Danforth Center.

As deputy commissioner of the FDA, the new food-safety-issues czar, the infamous Michael Taylor, former vice-president for public policy for Monsanto. Taylor had been instrumental in getting approval for Monsanto's genetically engineered bovine growth hormone.

As commissioner of the USDA, Iowa governor, Tom Vilsack. Vilsack had set up a national group, the Governors' Biotechnology Partnership, and had been given a Governor of the Year Award by the Biotechnology Industry Organization, whose members include Monsanto.

As the new Agriculture Trade Representative, who would push GMOs for export, Islam Siddiqui, a former Monsanto lobbyist.

As the new counsel for the USDA, Ramona Romero, who had been corporate counsel for another biotech giant, DuPont.

As the new head of the USAID, Rajiv Shah, who had preciously worked in key positions for the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, a major funder of GMO agriculture research.

We should also remember that Obama's secretary of state, Hillary Clinton, once worked for the Rose law firm. That firm was counsel to Monsanto.

Obama nominated Elena Kagan to the US Supreme Court. Kagan, as federal solicitor general, had previously argued for Monsanto in the Monsanto v. Geertson seed case before the Supreme Court.

The deck was stacked. Obama hadn't simply made honest mistakes. Obama hadn't just failed to exercise proper oversight in selecting appointees. He wasn't just experiencing a failure of short-term memory. He was staking out territory on behalf of Monsanto and other GMO corporate giants.

And now let us look at what key Obama appointees have wrought for their true bosses. Let's detail the extraordinary parade of GMO crops that have skated through the open door of the Obama presidency.

Monsanto GMO alfalfa.

Monsanto GMO sugar beets.

Monsanto GMO Bt soybean.

Coming soon: Monsanto's GMO sweet corn.

Syngenta GMO corn for ethanol.

Syngenta GMO stacked corn.

Pioneer GMO soybean.

Syngenta GMO Bt cotton.

Bayer GMO cotton.

ATryn, an anti-clotting agent from the milk of transgenic goats.

A GMO papaya strain.

And perhaps, soon, genetically engineered salmon and apples.

  

That's how you control and squash the truth.

  

Jon Rappoport

The author of an explosive collection, THE MATRIX REVEALED, Jon was a candidate for a US Congressional seat in the 29th District of California. Nominated for a Pulitzer Prize, he has worked as an investigative reporter for 30 years, writing articles on politics, medicine, and health for CBS Healthwatch, LA Weekly, Spin Magazine, Stern, and other newspapers and magazines in the US and Europe. Jon has delivered lectures and seminars on global politics, health, logic, and creative power to audiences around the world. You can sign up for his free emails atwww.nomorefakenews.com

Questions? Contact us at leangreencafe@yahoo.com

Undone...III

Parenting Teenagers. Building Problem-solving Skills Together.

NPR's Emailed Story: How Parents Can Learn to Deal w/ a Testy Teenager and Build Problem-solving Skills

When you go directly to this blog article, you'll see the many comments in the section below. My own comment and what I've learned from the times of parenting my teens, is below:

A man wrote in about negotiating a time when the electronics were turned off at night. His kids said 10:00, he said 9. They agreed on 9:30 pm.

My response:

"Loved the negotiation to 9:30. Now that I'm alone, for my own health, I shut down the EMR's piercing the walls.  I just unplug the router. I no longer have 5 teenagers at one time, but I've had company that knows well... texting or internet throughout the night is met with my own home's boundary-a peaceful night with no electromagnetic radiation generated by me, because there's no WIFI. (You can just hope any neighbor's system is passworded...)



My own 7 children had the security of two parents, until the 1985 divorce, then disclosure of an aunt and uncle and step-grandparent's sexual abuse, then abandonment of 9 aunts and uncles and the grandparents and their father. The anger and grief overwhelmed any family system of rules as they blamed me, and wanted me to 'fix it' without doing their personal work. We struggle even today. What makes sense is deciding what we want. To be right, or happy. Some decided to try calling me by my first name. I invited them to refrain from contact until they could show the respect I believe...I'd earned, of 'Mom'. Earning Master's, PhD's and Law degrees are not a feeling of success, when the nuclear family is destroyed.

One of my daughters had her child disclose inappropriate grooming behavior, written down, after a visit to her father. This generation is better armed. My daughter wanted to wipe the guy out, of course. I told her that during her childhood, I regretted not being able to remain calm and patient at all times. I missed out on the Christ gene under my own burdens. (Sometimes we don't have the convenience of some 'break-down'. We keep functioning.) She laughed.



My most unfavorite task as parent was coming up with consequences. I'd let my children help, but they were too harsh on themselves. Years later, I heard a talk in which a man said we chastise our children for their mistakes, but too often leave them in the mess, instead of showing them how a few steps can get them back on track. Simultaneous grief in a family, especially layered disappointment, may take years to heal. Verbal abuse, emotional blackmail or physical abuse is simply not acceptable. "Services' must stop until civility returns and apologies are made and kept. Too many parents today keep performing though boundaries of respect are crossed. We were not born to be door mats or the 'whipping boy' for our children. This is not success, or a gift to our young."

**************

In my own family of origin, my mother was silent, and my father aggressively loud and explosive. This is the problem solving I saw. Even though I tried to reason with my own children, and maintain the family system after the divorce and then sexual abuse disclosure, loss of any support system as we moved, left the religion, and lost all my large extended family and any contact with their father ceased, it was a losing battle. The model my children had seen from their father's own personal demons, was to act self righteous while projecting his self hatred, with silence and passive aggressive behavior.

Discussing the truth of history, I had to think of what influences my children had and what problem solving examples I set, etc. Though I had sworn I would never take the abuse I saw my mother experience, the man I married was also wounded, like so many of us are. His mother died at 8 or 9, his father withdrew in his own grief of his life long partner of 20+ years, and his only sibling, a sister, went to live elsewhere. He was left to figure life out for himself. His teeth weren't fixed, and when he later worked at a car wash as a teenager, he saved up the $1 an hour wage and paid for his own dental work.  This had affected his self confidence, along with a home without a woman's touch. 

The curtains were black where his father grabbed them in the middle to close them at the end of the day. My ex-husband felt too embarrassed at the condition of the house to invite his friends over. Roaches in the Mesa, Arizona adobe home took over the kitchen, leaving streaks of their waste down the cupboards. Black widows and scorpions are quite comfortable in the heat, and the citrus trees and date palms lent great homes to anything insect and crawly. The honey house with its large extractor and fading green paint was a memory to days of apiary work, where father and son worked to heat and cut or strip off the wax of a frame and set the exposed honeycomb into its place to be whirled along with others. The golden Arizona honey collected at the bottom, only to be siphoned off into 5 gallon cans. They talked about Alfalfa honey, the prized Orange Honey, Clover honey, etc. as to where the beehives were, and what kind of color and taste their finished product had.  His father sent trainloads of honey off through the years, and used the money his hard work earned to buy land and build rentals for his retirement someday. 

My ex-husband had a lot of hives that were burned along with the weeds, along canals, by fields, etc., during the two years he served a Mormon mission in Argentina. 

Because my ex-husband's father was a hard working man, and taught that work ethic to his youngest son, they worked together. They'd go to Eager, and work to build a cabin together on land that overlooked John Wayne's 26 Bar Hereford Ranch. He also passed on his ideas of his station in life, by saying his kids would have to work twice as hard as anyone elses', to be as good. His father had been raised on dirt floors on farmland in Missouri or Mississippi. That's why dangling a black widow from one hand to the other didn't phase him, I guess. 

One morning around 3:30 or 4 AM, when his dad came over to help him irrigate several pieces of land in Mesa, my ex-husband and I had some sort of argument, and though I was pregnant with our first child, his way to 'win' seemed to include trying to kick me as I looked for something on the floor in the extra bedroom. I snarled at him to go get his father, so he could see what a 'man' his son was, kicking a pregnant wife. He stopped. Another time, he pushed me outside, and locked me out. He literally locked me out of his emotional life, being mostly silent, and having his own private life outside his home life, which I was about to find out.

In Arizona, work as a brick mason and hod carrier (mixing cement and lime and carrying "mud" or mortar, water, brick and block, building and stocking scaffolding) or laying brick or block was a physical labor that keeps a man in top physical shape. It also allows him to inhale lime and cement dust into his lungs for annual respiratory bouts, and wears out his elbows, etc. with tendonitis, carpal tunnel and arthritis as he ages. To work in the Arizona summers, one has to rise around 3:30 AM, pack a lunch and get to work to out-fox the beating sun. Think of a brick mason in the elements, like a roofer, etc., and you will know that not every man has the work ethic to cut it. (Yes, Emily, ;-}...there are women roofers, also, and probably masons.)

When I was pregnant with our second child, maintaining this Mormon temple marriage/playing house role, two policemen came to the door and asked me about the truck in the driveway. Who drove it? Did anyone else drive it?...

To be continued....

Questions? Contact me at leangreencafe@yahoo.com
at pamcohenmsw@gmail.com
or at www.counselingwithpamela.com

A TED Talk Worth Noting for your Health

A Break in 'Undone'-I and II: Reflections on Domestic Violence

This TED Talk caught my eye this morning on Dr. Mercola's website, along with a commentary from Jon Rappaport on President Obama's Speech last night. I decided to share them both, as they say a lot about the times we currently live in, here in America.

Story at-a-glance

• Publication bias—the practice of selectively publishing trial results that serve an agenda—represents a systematic flaw of the scientific basis of medicine
• Bias includes publishing positive results but not the negative ones, not publishing retractions of fraudulent studies, and funding bias
• Half of all clinical trials ever completed on the medical treatments currently in use have never been published in the medical literature. Trials with positive results for the test treatment are about twice as likely to be published, and this applies to both academic research and industry studies
• In 2010, researchers identified all the published trials for five major classes of drugs, and then measured two key features: Were they positive, and were they funded by industry? Out of a total of 500 trials, 85 percent of the industry-funded studies were positive, compared to 50 percent of the government-funded trials
• Published studies are used by doctors and health agencies as the basis for making recommendations and writing prescriptions. When they’re given a radically skewed picture of the facts, they cannot make sound recommendations, and patients die.

Now for Politics:...Jon Rappaport

Ruthless State of the Union: current crime boss speaks

The ruthless State of the Union: the current crime boss speaks by Jon Rappoport February 13, 2013 www.nomorefakenews.com Perhaps it's presidents running down the whole laundry list of issues, but it seems to me the last dozen or so State of the Union speeches by presidents could put a galaxy of insomniacs to sleep. Originally, the State of the Union was the president talking to Congress. Now we all know no one from the Senate or the House is going to move a new inch by anything the president says in his speech. It's just a dog and pony show. It's also a chance for the president to talk to the television audience. That's the real event. The president's on TV. It's a stage play and it closes the night it opens. The script is always too long. It should have been cut by nine-tenths in rehearsals. The droning of the laundry list is, of course, a reflection of the fact that big government has its paws and nose in every facet of our lives. I was waiting for Obama to talk about an adequate supply of toilet paper and paper towels in public-park restrooms, and the danger of pictures of guns brought to school. And how about those unsightly vegetable gardens growing on front lawns? Would be bring in the FBI and the ATF and DHS to solve that problem? Would he push for free sex-change operations for all college students? Radioactive body scanners in coffee shops? I think the system for assigning names to hurricanes and blizzards should be subjected to a task-force study. When tonight Obama said the only way to make progress was for us all to work together, he didn't just mean the Congress. He meant the American people, aka the television audience. But I've never understood that idea. What are we all working together to accomplish? What's the program? Giving away more of our income to the federal government? Agreeing to more surveillance of our movements? Supporting the invasion of more countries? Refraining from photographing the police making arrests? Restricting our Facebook posts to happy faces and rainbows? Are we all working together to surrender our guns in exchange for movie tickets and candy? Are we pretending to be overjoyed that the federal government wants to force everyone to get vaccinated and eat GMO food, and take SSRI antidepressants that demonstrably cause people to go crazy and kill others? Is that it? Are we somehow working together to print endless amounts of money? Are we working together to push the percentage of Americans collecting free government money from 40 percent to 60 percent? Is that the glorious goal? Are we working together to give money to alternative-energy companies so they can go broke and declare bankruptcy? Are we working together to protect and defend the World Trade Organization, so ravenous mega-corporations can export jobs to China and roam the global landscape, raping and pillaging resources and labor? Are we working together to accept Obamacare, which will steadily eliminate natural-health alternatives and enroll more people in a medical system that kills 225,000 people (actually a lot more) every year like clockwork? Is that the goal? Are we working together to pretend we have two very different major political parties in the country, instead of one party with two heads? Are we working to assure that no bankster is ever sent to prison for scamming the American people out of trillions of dollars? Are we working together to take guns away from people who would only use them to defend themselves and their families against criminals, while at the same we work to ignore gang violence stemming in part from the fact that Mexican drug cartels use these gangs as subcontractors, under the protection of the federal government? Are we working together to imagine that our troops are really fighting wars to protect and defend the nation? Are we working together to hide the fact that, although interest rates are artificially low, we're spending more and more money every month to buy what we need to survive? Are we working together to hamstring every small business in America with red tape and taxes? Are we working together to ignore the absurd insanity called climate-change science, so the government can install carbon taxes and penalties and lop the top off of American industry? Are we all working together to frame attractive free incentive packages for unlimited numbers of immigrants who come to America, while untold numbers of Americans are going hungry every night, and people can't find jobs anywhere? Is that the objective? Destabilization of society, under the cynical guise of humane gift-giving? Are we working to dream that when the president says he's going to focus on jobs in his second term, this means he's actually going to do more than squint at the sun? Are we working to find more foreign enemies we can invade, as our military advance teams pave the way for imperial corporations and continue to launch some sort of ridiculous "surround Russia" operation? Are we all working together to drown the Third World in "free" medical drugs and vaccines that destroy immune systems, rather than cleaning up contaminated water supplies and installing simple sanitation systems (at a millionth of the cost of the drugs)? Are we all working together just "to work together" and continue the fine tradition of destroying the nation from the inside? That's what I thought. Yes, that's what I thought. Hell of a speech, Mr. President. You and GW and Bill and Bush the Elder and Ronnie and Jimmy and Gerry and Nixon really know your laundry lists. You talk, and the government gets bigger. It's magic. There's always more to do and the government has to make it happen. Otherwise, what are you there for? I ask myself that question all the time. I'm still looking for an answer, other than, "We're all in this together." Who is this WE you keep taking about? And what is this TOGETHER? You mean we who are watching on television and you who are talking on television? You mean you who are slicing the Constitution into little pieces while ridiculing it as a Neanderthal document? You mean you who are covert agents of Globalism? You mean you who have been vetted to make sure you're on board with the op to take American down into a planetary management system that will bring a thousand years of peace to people made over into androids? That's what I thought. You talk and the government gets bigger. You bankroll education and students are brainwashed into "uplifting social themes," and become more dumb. You talk and the state-corporate media strain themselves into hernias to praise your erudition or passion. You talk and thousands of lobbyists who have the inside track on your souls parse your words and plan their new strategies. You talk and the American people desperately try to imagine you're making a grain of sense. You talk and the winds blow and the snow falls and Somebody Actually Important, at a much higher level of the Mob, pats you on your shoulder and folds you up like a puppet and drops you in his pocket and walks upstairs to the Residence and puts you to sleep. Asleep, you dream of a strange and alien thing: the freedom and power and independence of the individual. For you, it's a nightmare. Jon Rappoport The author of an explosive collection, THE MATRIX REVEALED, Jon was a candidate for a US Congressional seat in the 29th District of California. Nominated for a Pulitzer Prize, he has worked as an investigative reporter for 30 years, writing articles on politics, medicine, and health for CBS Healthwatch, LA Weekly, Spin Magazine, Stern, and other newspapers and magazines in the US and Europe. Jon has delivered lectures and seminars on global politics, health, logic, and creative power to audiences around the world. You can sign up for his free emails atwww.nomorefakenews.com

Questions? CONTACT me at leangreencafe@yahoo.com or
pamcohenmsw@gmail.com

Undone....II.

Undone... II.

A late Sunday breakfast calls, but I've posted some family pictures below. Blogging is one way to capture your family history. I hope my sharing helps others to understand how damage from childhood affects us as adults, and can be expressed in families. It is also my hope that there can be healing in my family. 

I will resume my story from my last posting soon. I am known for my honesty, and for some of my family, that is threatening. I believe that the truth will make you free. My family has been in a horrible prison for years... one that is unnecessary. Perhaps to my nieces and nephews who do not know all of the history, my efforts will be a 'skeleton' key in their lives, to unlock their full potential. Some may not want to hear it, and many have been told much that is false, with the convenient desire to cover up the shameful, shift the focus, and move on, letting innocent people pay for their actions and choices. A giant umbrella of protection has been the group think behavior of religion. In this case, Mormonism.

When my Father lived with me, I videotaped his chronology, so my 9 siblings could better understand what had shaped him, and that despite his erratic violence, they might see and know him as a human being, and appreciate this. Despite his behavior, I believe in not forgiving, we cannot forgive ourselves, and allow humanity.

I knew that discussion of my father's awful names for his children and his behavior would be very difficult for my elderly dad, but might be critical for healing with my brothers and sisters. During the taping, he protested that in his opinion, "Life was not to be a series of expiation". I then asked him when he had ever admitted what he had done, or how he had treated our mother and us as children? What amends have you made?" My point was taken.

Perhaps the hardest part of this interview was keeping the video camera still, as my Father kept getting up from the trestle table bench, going to the window, looking through the lace curtain, and going down memory lane. I had to keep asking him to sit back down, and to please try not to get up. Caregiving someone with dementia of any kind takes a huge well of patience. One thing was certain. My Father still had fond feelings for my mother, but tended to share a little too much.

One interjection: I made sure my father drank a large glass of filtered water each morning, but at times I suspected he wasn't drinking it. Sure enough, I crept into the dining room of my Scappoose home, trying to keep the 1920 wooden floors from creaking, to find him slowly pouring out his water in the plants. No wonder they were getting yellow leafed and water logged. If the bananas were laying out in the kitchen, he could eat 2-3 of them, and forgetting what he'd just done, eat more.

One time when my friend Dell came for a short visit, I was making breakfast, and the homemade strawberry freezer jam and powdered sugar was out on the kitchen counter, waiting for the french toast, waffles or pancakes while I stepped outside to say goodbye to my friend. When I came back in, to my dismay, there was a spoon in the jam, and half of the pint was gone, and there were little poofs of powdered sugar on the counter. Dad! Your blood sugar could spike your blood pressure or something.

 As my Father slipped into the simple things of life, I could see the innocence of him, childlike, and knew that I was in a position to show him the security of being able to trust someone. Sometimes the gift to our parents of our love and dedication, comes back to us many times. I knew instinctively that he had provided for my food and diapers and warm home when I needed it, and now was the time I could give back. Had I harbored a black wall of resentment and bitterness, my father would have died alone, I wouldn't have understood my life much better and learned many things, had the time to get to know my dad as a person, or realized the fierce love my Father had for me made him the best Advocate a daughter had ever had.

 No wonder despite his out-of-control violent behavior as a child, I always felt a warm blanket of protection in the world. My Father seemed huge, like a grizzly bear, fierce, strong and mentally astute. His observations and creativity and independence were forces to be reckoned with. Just his vocabulary was intimidating for most. His black hair and barrel chest and resonating commanding voice could terrify or offer a shelter.

The love of my father, and the unconditional love of a little girl welcoming her 'daddy' when he came home, was a mutual blessing. Who knows that it didn't keep him checked so he didn't totally unhinge at home? Though the triangulation of his favoritism with the jealousy of my mother who just wanted to be loved and her stonewalled rejection of me caused irreparable damage, revisiting it all in his elder years gave me a kind of peace, like the dove of confirmation had finally come home and quieted the confusion. The responsibility I felt though, when he was violent, like I was the reason he didn't just kill everyone, was quite a burden. It was the reason I didn't feel I could leave home, during a Bradshaw Workshop exercise of revisiting a childhood setting. I had to protect everyone else by just being there. No wonder taking care of others has always seemed my place.

I only wish I were older and more mature and less affected by going down the old home road, when I made the video. I would have talked less, but my dad's short-term memory made it necessary to herd him back on the road many times. He also wanted to avoid many things, but I was so PROUD of his honesty, and admissions. We laughed, and I silently cried, as we went down his long-term 'memory lane'. How many people get a Life Review on the planet, and someone to care, and listen to them?

I took the time to tape my father, asked him questions, brought up many subjects, because of my love and dedication to the puppy pile I grew up with. This videotaped history was to be sent to my siblings after the death of my father.Most of them lived in Utah. When he died 3+ years ago, I paid to copy the two video tapes, and sent it to my sister Alison. I don't believe she ever finished watching and listening to it, and she indicated nobody else was interested to. In making that decision, many secrets of their lives, things that shaped their childhood years and characters and futures, will be forever buried and lost.

I think the many nieces and nephews should ask to see this video or get it from me. When I was a child, we were not allowed to know anything, like we had no rights. This kept us in the dark, inhibited our maturity and ability to learn and create boundaries. The old adage that children are to 'be seen and not heard', (or herded around as dispossessed obedient sheep) was my experience. It does NOT prepare children for the world. Of course there are age appropriate revelations, but the confusion and torn threads of reality as if a child's feelings and formation of reality didn't matter, was inexcusable.

(I suspect one of my sibs or nephews absorbed a lot of gossip about my life, as if it were true, because I received several long comments full of bizarre accusations on this blog. I hope that person can contact me and learn the truth, instead of being fooled into believing a lot of nonsense. Usually we each have the most accurate account of our lives...) Sometimes I wonder if I will ever rub shoulders with my tribe again, on this earth.

My mother was always the person that 'didn't want to know'. (To see to what degree, put Crazymaking in the SEARCH box on this blog and read the poem I wrote about my experience with her.) She would bury her head in the sand, and compartmentalize reality. She did this when it was disclosed that my youngest brother and sister and her husband had sexually abused some of my children. She had her own share of childhood grief, and after a tough life with my father, poverty, abuse and finally a divorce after 22 years and 10 children, she wanted a better life. My brother Evan once said, in her Highland, Utah home, that she has a 'wallet', (as in a husband with a wallet), and so I guess that security was what sufficed, as she sacrificed her own daughters and grandchildren on the alter of ignorance and looking the other way, hoping 'things' had stopped with her youngest son, and that any stories of her husband who had been a Mormon Bishop while single in California, could not be admitted as evidence on her watch. How many of her children and grandchildren did he have access to, and betray their trust and damage?

Though my Mother's way to try and save the family was to scramble and cover up, invite me to an Anne of Green Gables themed party while my oldest daughter was in Foster Care, as if nothing had happened, I can understand her grief and shock, and the options she felt she had, to protect the whole. I cannot black and white her as good or evil, for she was one of the hardest working mothers I knew, raising ten children, often in abject poverty, in a lonely and abusive relationship. We all make serious errors, or will, in our lives. Just the act of judgment or lack of compassion as if we know what we'd do in similar circumstances, is rancid.

Though I admired my mother in many ways, her type of dishonesty and enabling led to the destruction of her family. Some have not yet taken account of that. Frosted cupcakes at family dinners and pictures of temples and 'prophets' will not ever ameliorate or erase the additional 'footprints' of violated innocence, left in the sand.

 Which of the rest of the nieces and nephews would ever dare speak up, to tell their own truth, after the shunning of me and my family? When you can't trust your own blood, and your experiences aren't allowed, what do you trust in this world? This is one reason that I don't think many religions are necessarily healthy. Brainwashing with repeated materials and music, propaganda, choosing and prohibiting full disclosure of educational materials to learn about the world-- creates Stepford Wives. Living as dispossessed, limited humans is a waste of life and time, in my humble opinion.

Despite the embellishment of my Father's reality, to admit some of his errors was admirable. In no way do I think he admitted all. My mother once said there was not anything she had done as a Mother that she regretted. As a mother of seven myself, I found that troubling. Truly, life seems to be a circus of errors and a path laden with forays into forgiveness.

To be continued....

A Proud Dad and his little Sausage Baby Nico.
The kind of gentle father you want your daughter
to marry. My second daughter's husband, Alfonso.
"The best thing you can do for your children,
is to love their mother."

My Father and little Grandson Joseph

Six of my siblings and a nephew I've never met:
Evan, Melinda, Lisbeth, Nephew Chris, Alison,
Wendy and Christopher.
Missing in picture: Jessie, Pamela (me), Lisa -Chris's mom,
and brother Aaron.
My mother is still living, also. See picture below.

My Father in his eighties.
Dad had vascular dementia, or basically,
short-term memory problems. 

My Mother w/ Sister Alison
Mom has Alzheimer's now.

Questions? Contact me at leangreencafe@yahoo.com



Domestic violence, family history, parents, conflict resolution, forgiveness, sexual abuse, dementia, Alzheimer's, fatherhood, fathers, mothers, motherhood, 

Undone....I. Domestic Violence Begins My Story...

Undone...I.

 My Father...

Sometimes it takes years to recognize the truth of one's life. The young woman who swore she would never take the abuse she saw her father dish out to her mother. The violent screaming and cursing, with knives held to her mother's throat. The words that she recorded, to prove what was going on at home on an erratic, regular basis. "If I was a man, I'd throw you out of that window". "I'll kill you and put the kids in separate orphanages. " There was the day her mother played the piano while her father spit in her face. The glass jar thrown down by the sliding glass window, near the varicose veins of a pregnant mom. Certainly all ten children remembered various events differently, according to their age and development and ability to comprehend or absorb the theatre.

 Much earlier, when her father was a traveling salesman, and her mother had reason to believe he was unfaithful, in a rage, she threw out her husband's things. All his childhood pictures, his Bar Mitzvah items, in boxes kept, hoarded and moved around to each new residence, like an icon of his absent security. It was something he never had from his own rageaholic unfaithful father and his grief-stricken, emotionally absent mother.

It was in some San Antonio home, in some fuzzy cement basement, that an ax made an imprint on her little mind. It seems that was the day her breathing became shallow. There were the stairs, the yelling, the waves of human pain swelling and then receding, leaving everyone paralyzed.

Later, as an adult, when Silence of the Lambs came out to theaters, her younger sister Alison called one day, saying, "Pam, did you see that movie?" That, that one called ...we said the name of the film together. "Silence of the Lambs?" I had indeed seen it, and found a comfortable familiarity, of the intense intelligence and quiet loathing for human kind. "That guy, he's, he's", and again, we spoke together, "Just like dad"?

He was the very vulnerable elderly man in his late seventies, wanting a home to die in where the people spoke English, preferably with one of his children. There was the call from California, and then to me, from my Mormon Bishop brother Chris, calling to say he would never change, and to let him stay where he was. I was the last to be asked. Not one of the ten children wanted to revisit the generator of their Post Traumatic Stress.

But I, I always wanted the father I never had, and I believed our elderly parents deserve to be respected and protected. I was not his choice. Perhaps I was too honest, too poor, too confrontive. But, for the next twelve years, I did my best to look after his care. He became the father I always wanted, my best advocate, an imperfect man who railed against boundaries and hated words of 'unacceptable behavior', and finally settled down to trust the only person in the world he knew loved him unconditionally. The price of his vascular dementia, the Chinese torture of repeated vocabulary and story, his jealousy of my time, and rarely a respite all took their toll.

To be continued...






Tags and Key Words: Domestic Violence. Results of Domestic Violence. Seeing Relationships for what they are. Women who love too much. Entitlement within a relationship. Why women stay. Why women leave. Lethality in a marriage or relationship. Signs to look for with Domestic Violence. Rebuilding life after Domestic Violence. Modeling of Abuse and how children respond. Loving self more. Protecting self. Protecting our children. Starting over. Unacceptable behavior. What is domestic violence? Forgiveness and Boundaries. Women as property. Religious entitlement. Patriarchal religions/churches. choking, hitting, slamming, yelling, cursing, destroying trust. destroying peace. building walls of anger and resentment. nature vs. nurture. conflict resolution. narcissism of wounded children. trauma. challenge or threat. rebuilding faith.
Questions? Contact us at leangreencafe@yahoo.com

Resolving Bone Spurs, Arthritis, Back Pain/Sciatica... The Why and How. Success Stories.

1.Bone Spur/Back Pain/Sciatica Help

Please feel free to glean from these stories what you can, for the problems mentioned above. These are testimonials from people who had bone spurs, arthritis and back and sciatica pain, and what they did to get relief. They used Shaklee products.

 I have used them also, starting with my third pregnancy. My body absorbed them so well, the doctors were astounded at the healthy baby, placenta and cord. My experience was 180 degrees different than when I used the synthetic prenatal vitamins with my first two babies. Over the years I quit using Shaklee, not paying attention or putting myself and my health first. After years of single parenting stress, I was diagnosed with endocervical cancer. It was changing my diet, research and going back to focused supplementation with Shaklee that helped me regain my health and live, though I had no prognosis. I don't want to preach about it, but there are many technical reasons that I choose this little 50+ yr. old Company when it comes to healing with nutrition.

*********

http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/health/womens-health/osteoporosis-report

In the article above, it's pointed out that supposed bone-strengthening medications actually reverse after taken for a time. At the end of this article, several nurses point out their bone density tests just get better each time, and they're taking Shaklee's Osteomatrix calcium.

********

Here is a collection of testimonials from real people....

It works!  At the end of three weeks of taking the calcium/magnesium/vitamin D tablets three times daily, I am walking without pain. I am now using one dose daily (4 tabs) as maintenance and so far I have had no return of the excruciating pain of the heel spur.

Thanks for the info.. My doctor is using me for a guinea pig and has all the information that came with my order. Thankfully, he is open to valid alternative methods. Hopefully, other of his patients can benefit from your product. Thanks again and God bless.

 Jim

 > >

RE : heel spur and Calcium Magnesium tablets

Here is a brief summary of my heel spur problem and you certainly

have my permission to post it if you wish:

I am 63 Years old now and have been retired since Sept. 1994. At that time I had had a sore right heel for a couple of years and doctors could not find any good solution to get rid of my right heel spur problem.

They suggested special soles to add in my shoes, etc.. At my retirement time, my pain in my right heel got worse. I had difficulty  walking in the morning. The worst of the pain normally went away after an hour or so after I got up. This is the time I decided to obtain more information about heel spur on the Internet. Due to my inexperience with Internet, it took me a little while before I found your site Barbara. The information that you have passed to me opened my eyes and the way It was presented

 (no pressure of any kind, etc) really convinced me to try these Calcium Magnesium tablets. I ordered 2 bottles the first time and after I took one serving (4 tablets) at each meal, it cleared most of my problem.

 However, to ensure that it would not come back I ordered two more bottles and I completed taking them in the same manner. The results I would say cleared 95% of my original right heel spur problem. There is still a little bit of pain once in a while, but not in the morning and I can live with that. I'll see, if does get worse I will not hesitate to order more of these tablets. It is unfortunate that Doctors do not recommend them,  It is so easy to take and no operation, no recovery time, etc. I was going to explain this to my own doctor, however he just retired before I had a chance to do it. But I will discuss it with my new doctor in due course.

  The conclusion: It is almost a miracle compared to what doctors recommend.

There are certainly exceptions where Doctors have to intervene, but I would recommend to try these first if results of tests indicate that it is a heel spur problem. I have already recommended them to other people and the feedback I get is that it helped them as well.

 Gaston Boucher

Hi Fred.

 Thank you for the information that you have sent to me. You asked me how long it took for the pain in my heel to go away. I would say about two months, taking twelve tabs a day of the calcium. I had ultrasound treatments done which gave me little or no relief. I also went to a Podiatrist, who suggested I have orthotics made for my shoe, which would cost me four hundred dollars. Another Podiatrist said to forget the orthotics, taped up my  foot and gave me exercises to do. Needless to say,

 I am so happy with the results of taking the calcium. I am supposed to be taking calcium anyway, so I'm killing two birds with one stone.

 Thanks again,

 Paula Michel

My mother-in-law has (had) bone spurs on her spine along with

arthritis, diabetes, and degenerative disks. She was in extreme pain and went to many specialists. She received cortisone shots which helped temporarily, but the pain would always return. She was using a walker and was headed for a wheelchair. When the doctors told her that there was nothing else they could do for her, she FINALLY took my advice of 9 cal mag a day (3 -3 times a day) and with in a couple of weeks her pain was completely

gone.

 She also went to therapy, to regain them didn't need it anymore and the pain returned. In addition to remaining pain free, thanks to the cal mag, she has increased her bone density. I know this because, on several occasions, she has lost her balance and fallen in the kitchen on the ceramic floor. She never had any breaks or any bruises. She is 76.

Hope this helps

 Anne and Doug Siloy/Berea, Ohio

Here is the testimonial I promised to send you, sorry for the length,

 but we send our testimonials unedited and with the sender'spermission.-Barbara

 Bone Spur Testimony 6-8-98

Anybody who is diagnosed with a bone spur problem, also anybody who has back or sciatic pain that doesn't respond to physical therapy may be helped by this letter. I have had occasional back problems for most of my adult life. (I'm in my fifties.) I could go months or even years without

 a problem, then I'd bend down to feed the dog (or do something

 similar)and my back would go out, causing me months of pain and/or discomfort.

 During one of those periods 20 or so years ago I went to a doctor who gave me a series of back strengthening exercises. I'm not very exercise-oriented but I would do them occasionally, mostly after a minor back-pain incident, and they seemed to speed up the healing process. One of the exercises on the chart was not recommended for people with sciatic pain.

 I was unable to do this exercise, making it obvious that I had some

kind of sciatic sensitivity in addition to my weak back. (Sciatic pain is a pain that runs down the back of your leg.) In thinking back, I had always had at least a minor discomfort that ran from my buttocks and down my thigh. I just never thought much about it until a year or so ago when it flared up and became more persistent and painful. This seemed to be full-blown sciatica, unrelated to my back- (or so I thought). My current doctor sent me to a physical therapist, but after weeks of trying various things, the sciatic discomfort just kept getting worse. It was difficult finding a position to stand in or to sit in to relieve the pain. I

 discovered that straight back chairs were my best bet for taking the pressure off the sciatic nerve (or whatever was causing this pain) soI went out and bought a bunch of used old wooden straight back chairs, one for every room in the house. I was walking in a weird, ultra upright position in order to minimize the pain. Finally the physical therapist realized that nothing she could do was helping me and she recommended several back specialists, one of which I went to. The new doctor ran me through some tests and concluded that I probably had a pinched nerve or a spinal bone spur that had caused a nerve to become inflamed. This was

 the first time I had heard the term bone spur.  She put me on a regular regimen of super-sized ibuprofen to relieve the inflammation and she sent me to another physical therapist who was going to try to come up with an exercise that might possibly take the stress off the problem area, allowing the inflammation to go away. I was told that this whole process sometimes worked and sometimes didn't. On my own I did some research into bone spurs and learned some interesting things. It appears that the body needs a lot more calcium than most people think. Calcium is not just for

 strong bones and health teeth and all those things we think in terms of.

EVERY function of the human body requires calcium, and when there's not enough calcium to go around, the body will sometimes leech it out of our bones.   This is what causes bone spurs to occur...little bumps or protrusions in certain bones. Typically, we don't notice these eruptions unless they're in a place that impedes us in some way, like on the heel.

 But they can occur anywhere, even on the spine, where we have thousands (millions? I'm not a doctor) of nerves threading through a series of very narrow openings. If a bone spur erupts in one of those tiny spaces you get a pinched nerve, and depending on where that nerve runs, you'll have pain that won't necessarily be localized along your spine or your lower back. It can run down your leg, as in sciatic pain. Or it can even manifest itself in other areas. Now, I didn't think that this was my problem. I've always taken a lot of vitamins, and since I consume hardly any dairy products, I would often chew on Tums (or one of those calcium rich mints). This is getting to be a very long letter so I'll cut to the chase. Weeks more of physical therapy and an expensive M.R.I. confirmed my doctor's theory. I had a bone spur AND a pinched nerve on either side

 of continued one of those little spinal conduits.

 MEANWHILE...after reading about bone spurs...learning about how properly absorbed calcium can conceivably reduce or even melt away bone spurs...and coming upon a testimonial letter on the internet (similar to this one but, mercifully, much shorter) recommending a particular calcium/magnesium formula made by Shaklee, I put myself on a calcium/magnesium regimen as recommended by the Shaklee distributor.

 (Sounds strange, but I was desperate,  physical therapy was getting me nowhere. My doctor's conclusion: operate or learn to live with it.) I was taking 16 pills a day, every day, and after around 45 days I began to feel results. At this point I had once again given up on physical therapy.

 Also, I found I could ease up on the ibuprofen. After that things

happened rather quickly. After 60 days of the calcium magnesium therapy I was dramatically improved. After 120 days I'd say that I was back to normal, but that would be an understatement. The mild sciatica that I'd had my entire life was gone Today I take 3 pills with each meal...9 a day...and I haven't had a new back incident since. A few caveats. Calcium is not easily absorbed by the body. The type of calcium used by Shaklee (dicalcium phosphate...a form of calcium I haven't seen in any other supplement) in combination with the other ingredients in the Shaklee pills (magnesium oxide and vitamin D) is apparently more useful to the body than other calcium formulations on the market. After what it did for me I would not use or recommend anything else. That's my story.

 Dear Rose, Fred and Viola

Our tax counselor had noticed my limping as I walked into his office and inquired about it. I explained that I had surgery several weeks earlier on a heel spur. Both of my heels had painful spurs, but I decided to have only one taken care of at a time. However, the surgery increased the pain in the foot operated on dramatically. This tax counselor then began to counsel me on a certain Calcium which had done the most amazing things for him. This exceptional product was only distributed by the Shaklee Corporation. I asked if he still takes it and his reply was, I'm afraid not to take it. Upon arriving home, without even removing my coat, I reached for the yellow pages and called your number. You have indeed proved exemplary representatives for the Shaklee Corporation-a great

 corporation that distributes truly wonderful products. I'm so glad I made that call because you have become more like friends. A remarkable thing happened. The pain in my heels made walking difficult. I canceled every outing I possibly could. I sat with pillows under my legs, even usingthem at night so my heels did not touch the sheets. Because even touching my skin made them hurt. But, astonishingly, by the time I had taken only half of my second bottle of Shaklee Calcium Magnesium, my husband and I were going dancing again. It was wonderful. Both feet were perfectly pain free after a year and a half of constant pain. Not just the one that had been operated on. If that had been the case, I would

 have thought it was the natural consequence of the operation itself. But,both feet were equally pain free and amazingly both at the same identical time.  Proving the tremendous benefit Shaklee Calcium can produce.

 That was two years ago. Like people sometimes do, I occasionally

become too busy to remember to take my Shaklee Calcium regularly. When that became too frequent I started limping because of the return of pain in the heel that was not operated on. As soon as I took my Shaklee Calcium for a few days the pain left totally. Do I take it regularly now? I'll tell you like someone once told me - I'm afraid not to take it.

Gratefully,

 Dolores Arpidone

 Broadview Heights, Ohio

 *******

Not all calciums are created equal.  This is how people get rid of bone 

spurs, too

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ARTHRITIS

Willa Virkler not only has Osteo-Arthritis but also a calcium deposit

on a vertebrae which is closing off 1/2 of the opening that the nerves

go through. The nerves are pinched leading to her shoulder and down

her arm, creating severe pain. She was taking Motrin several times daily

to help control the pain whenever she turned her head.

The doctor wanted to surgically remove the calcium deposit and said,

"take no calcium"

Willa decided to try some Shaklee and she started on the whole program

with a special emphasis on calcium to try to dissolve her calcium deposits.

Just 4 days later she bubbled, "I don't have any pain in my shoulder or

arm -- Oh, a little bit maybe if I turn too quickly, but not enough to

bother.  In fact, I haven't taken any pain pills recently."

Willa works in the pharmacy of the St. James Hospital in Pontiac.

Noticing that she was moving better, the pharmacist asked what she

was doing. "I'm not going to tell you," she replied. "Because you are a

pharmacist and you're just like my doctor. "He persisted in knowing

and after promising not to laugh, she told him she was taking Shaklee

supplements.

When she went back to her doctor for a checkup he wanted to know

what she had been doing for he noticed a big improvement. She told

him she was taking Shaklee supplements. He reminded her that he had

told her not to take extra calcium. Willa told him Shaklee's was dicalcium

phosphate to which he replied, "Oh, that's O.K. then!"

She still takes 10 Vita-Cal and 10 Calcium Magnesium a day and  she

needs 8 Alfalfa with each meal and at bed time. Willa isn't even considering

surgery any more!

Questions? Contact us at leangreencafe@yahoo.com

Making a Great Apple Pie..

This morning I woke up with the resolve to try bending over to let the blood circulate to my head and brush my hair and massage my scalp for 5 minutes, (next time before bed so the oils work to condition hair during sleep) then bend over with a hot washcloth and massage my face. My 86? -year old part-French old-time logger friend whom I had dinner with last night said his wife scrubbed the heck out of her face like that each morning, and had no wrinkles when she died in her 70's. Well, apparently I missed the boat, as I have wrinkles.  Genetics and sun and stress might be part of that, but I thought it would be a great experiment. Not to be disrespectful, but I pause, because it could also be that as we are displayed in a casket, the skin has receded smoothly with gravity, and we tend to put our loved ones on a pedestal.  My friend has a great memory, of course while she was living, so it's worth noting and experimenting

Even though I've heard not to tug on your fragile under-eye skin, I wanted to try this carefully as an exfoliation and stimulation exercise. If I end up looking like a bulldog, oh well. Somehow just disciplining my partially-retired self into a routine might be beneficial.  I already feel the circulation in my face. Resolve. Habits. Results. Diversions.

As I gave myself 5 minutes to check my emails and the news --with a timer, to keep myself on track, as I was up like a night owl last night and I have much to do, I found myself wanting to share the article from Jon Rappaport you'll find in the next posting. That led to free associating. When I think of leaving a record and history for my children, and how important it might be for them to know the real 'Mom', or how possibly someone might benefit from my sharing, the fact that I have totally busted my schedule today is all right. If I keep wrecking my schedule, of course, it might lead to an earlier demise, as I put my walk off again.  Exercise now has to be done in the rain, unless I escape to go dancing today. My friend last night reminded me that I should 'circulate' in more ways than one.

The 55 and older mobile court that I live in at present has a doughnuts and coffee gathering at their 'rec' center each Friday morning. The coffee is gruesome, not organic, (I don't need the splash of pesticides, fungicides, synthetic fertilizers and insecticides-nor the conscience that for my ignorance and consumer demand, many indigenous children are dying of cancer and birth defects from the aerial and ground spraying of coffee crops-- inhaled and in their ground water) ...and I'm not sure I can afford one more bit of sugar this week (lol).

 I have to find 'Red', the manager's girlfriend later, anyway, to give her the piece of apple pie that I promised her would be in the fridge last night. I had a dinner invitation, and I didn't get home till late, so she didn't find it there. It was just as well, so she could get to bed with that cold she's fighting, without my caramel/apple pie experiment. Sugar before bed is especially hard on the immune system. The 2 garlic and 2 vitamin C capsules I gave her yesterday to take in the morning along with a Grapefruit Seed Extract capsule (one of Nature's antibiotics) with another couple of garlic and c for bedtime hopefully will help her kick her respiratory infection. I guess unsolicited advice about the cigarette smoke and sinus infections that go into the chest --to go along with the pie, might have to be tabled, as we've already gone there as 'sisters'.

Just a note, as I focus back on that apple pie discussion (you'll be glad I did) I had the best prepared piece of Halibut I've ever tasted at Chan's Steakery last night. It was moist, tender, buttery glazed and just lightly seasoned and wonderful! Later my friend and I had a piece of the caramel apple pie variation (that I brought with me) with some whipped cream. It was outstanding. My friend said I could come cook for him any time. ;-}

 Chan's Steakery for those who live in Oregon: (The food is great, and they serve large portions -for those lunch-time leftovers)
10477 Southeast Main Street, Milwaukie, OR 97222
(503) 653-2709 )*************

I shared pieces of apple pie with about half a dozen friends and neighbors a day or so ago. When I was at a good friend's house last week, I put together a pie in his glass pie plate, from memory. It was the best apple pie I think I've ever eaten. I know, you probably think dementia might be setting in, and I just don't remember the other ones I've eaten, but really, it was an awakening. I have never really cared a lot for apple pie, but made with less sugar, using brown sugar, and just cinnamon for spice, gives you a home made taste you will salivate for. I promise.

I used:
Crust: 2 c. white flour, 1 tsp. salt, 2/3 c. plus a little shortening, it made a flakier crust that I loved. Experiment...-cut in to about pea size and add 1/2 c. cold water. Mix as little as possible, into a ball. Roll out in your circle to fit your pie pan size. 9" or less. The left overs can be made into pinwheels, rolled into a rectangle, with a bit of butter, cinnamon, brown sugar and a drizzle of corn syrup if desired, and baked after the pie, at about 425 to 450 degrees 5-8 min? Watch closely. The sugar makes them burn easily. They'll disappear.

Back to...the Filling:
In a large bowl, mix 1/4 c. flour, 1/4 c. white sugar  and 1/2 c. brown sugar, 1/4 tsp. of salt, 1 tsp. cinnamon. Sprinkle the apples(4-5 cups) w/ 1-2 T. lemon juice-freshly squeezed preferably. But, if you don't have the lemon, don't worry. A lime would work, also.
I washed, peeled, cored and cut two varieties of apples I had, quartering each quarter, and halving the slices. I think they were Jonagolds and a few big ...? Macintosh. Personal preference. I like mixing different kinds. About 5-6 cups. Mix and make the crust.

Halve the ball of pastry. (Recipe makes 2 crusts) Roll out pastry, put in pie plate, trim to 1/2" outside plate and fill w/ apples. Dot w/ 2 generous Tbsp's of butter. Cover w/ another rolled out pastry circle, and trim edges to 1/2" or so. Fold and seal, and either flute or press w/ a fork. I put a smiley face or decoration for slits to let the steam out. The seeping, bubbling apple cinnamon liquid will let you know it's done, along w/ the golden brown color of the crust. Bake at 400 degrees for 10 min to brown the top, then 350 for 35-45 min. Keep an eye out. All ovens and altitudes vary.

Caramels quartered (handful) and sprinkled w/ the butter will give a different flavor, of course. Whipping cream or ice cream or med-sharp cheddar cheese melted on top of the plain recipe of apple pie is simply....BELLISSIMO. I use Tillamook cheese as they promise they don't add growth hormones to their product. (Think growth stimulators-cancer cells, early maturation, prostate, etc. ) Taking care of ourselves these days is a full time job itself, but worth avoiding being disabled by cancer or some disease. My friend Roy likes Nancy's Plain or Honey Yogurt on his pie.


Questions? Contact us at leangreencafe@yahoo.com